ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
