my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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