somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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