just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
