Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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