ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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