How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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