no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
