The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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