from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
