I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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