I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
