Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
