I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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