Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Someone signed my nipple.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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