Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
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