The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
