I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
