so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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