btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she told me i tasted like america
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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