im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize