***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
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He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
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I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize