At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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