OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
