So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
This baby is an asshole
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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