How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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