dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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