You just made me feel so damn special
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
