It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Everclear isn't food dammit
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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