susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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