It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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