I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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