After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
