i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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