He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
