can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
