remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
