ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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