Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
