I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
