Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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