the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
