I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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