I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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