I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
The air taste purple.
Randomize
