Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
