i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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