Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize