And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize