Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
