i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
