So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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