So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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