dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
