I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
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My thoughts exactly.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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