So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
