Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
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Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
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Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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