Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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