I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
